Living life out of a Brochure

If you're a keen observer, you'll notice that our location marker on our homepage has settled itself on Koh Phangan, off the east coast of Thailand for some time.  We didn't set out to get stuck here for so long, but it's just one of those places that is hard to leave.  In fact, we've met several "nesters" who take up semi-permanent residence in a room of a guest house - one has even been here for almost 6 years.  (When I asked Bessie what she thought he does for a living, she responded "Hangs out.")  Since we have been staying in the same place, we've formed a pseudo-life here with a semi-regular routine that seems to come from something out of a brochure for an alternative living community - the kind of community meant for city-dwellers who have burnt themselves out on the rat race life.  

So, in that vein, I have created a brochure for our little living community here on Haad Yuan beach in Koh Phangan.

Your House


Welcome home to your "log cabin" in the jungle.  In addition to the amenities like a bed, an oscillating fan on the wall, and running water, your home away from home comes with its very own cacophony of jungle sounds.  No longer will you need that alarm clock with fake nature sounds, you will now get the real thing.  In fact, you may be glad to know that the natural sounds around you will drown out any alarm clock, allowing you to sleep to your heart's content. 

Not that any of it matters, really.  Since you will be living less than a minute from a blindingly white beach, there's not a whole lot of reasons to stay in the room.  The cost of your luxurious crib near the beach?  A mere 13 dollars a day.  And that includes free room cleaning!

Your Office


Have you ever wanted to work in an inspiring location?  Do you want to punch your cubicle walls until they fall down?  Our office is the remedy to that.  Surrounded on 3 (sometimes 4)  sides by open air windows with views of the ocean and jungle, your new office gives you the kind of setting that makes you want to go to work.

In addition to being a space to work, your new office also doubles as a cafeteria, with a menu to cater to any of your culinary needs from Thai food to hamburgers and schnitzel.  Thirsty?  Who said that you can't drink on the job?  Simply order from the selection fruit shakes, soda, or beers available and never become dehydrated.


Stop worrying about your commute!  Instead of spending hours in transit waiting, you'll only need to spend seconds walking to your new office.  In fact, our "natural highway" allows you to get to your destination without the time-consuming task of putting on shoes.  No more fooling around with those silly laces, just roll out of bed and be on your way.


For a limited time only, we'll also throw in a free "executive assistant" to help you out while you're working hard.  He's not very good at dictating your notes and may need some refresher courses on using computers, but he works for a nominal fee of one plate of papaya. (We are not responsible for any injuries or harm inflicted by said assistant.)

Your Gym

If running on the treadmill is becoming too boring for you, our state-of-the-art pure sand running track is the solution for you.  An automatic cooling system of "sea waves" constantly keeps the running surface flat and prevents it from overheating.  Our system of sand and water allows you to run naturally without shoes, letting your body run in its purist form.


If swimming is more of your thing, our gym comes equipped with more than just an olympic-sized pool - it comes with an ocean-sized pool.  There's no waiting for a lane in our pools as there is enough space to accommodate hundreds of swimmers at once.


Finally, don't forget to check out our many yoga classes.  Spread out through the jungle, we have 5 yoga studios that offer morning and afternoon classes covering all styles from Hatha to Ashtanga and everything in between.  Take one class or take them all - at around $8 for 2 hours, you can't afford to miss them.

Entertainment/Nightlife


For daytime activities, we can't be beat.  Simply pick up a basketball and start playing hoops, borrow a frisbee, or rent a kayak to explore hidden bays.  Of particular mention are our palm tree swings that combine the childish fun of swings with the appreciation of a beautiful surroundings.  Once you've gotten sufficiently sunburned from playing outside, grab a hammock, and pass the time with one of our many books.   

At night we aren't Vegas, but we have options to keep you entertained.  Every night, you have a selection of 2 or 3 movies to watch projected onto a big screen.  Relive your favorites from the past 5 years as you watch "40 Year Old Virgin", "The Departed", and "Stepbrother" with the sound of the ocean in the background.  After finishing the movie, feel right at home with a cold beer and a pool cue in your hand.  We have several free pool tables available where you'll be able to play pool and sip on a Singha every night of the week.

If you're a "shake your booty til the sun comes up" fan, head to Haad Rin wearing your favorite color glitter and grab a Thai bucket for the Full Moon Party. Full Moon, clothes, and sanity are all optional at these parties.

Contact

If you think this lifestyle might right be for you, contact Haad Yuan beach, Koh Phangan, Thailand.  No reservations are necessary - stay as little or as long as you like.  Just make sure you clear your calendar as you might end up staying longer than you think.