
Typical street-side teashop, Yangon
If you ever go to Myanmar, one of the first things that you'll notice that every town, and usually every block in every town has a tea shop at it. For most people who are crammed in a small house with every other member of their family, the tea shop is a place to gather outside of home and chat or just hang out.
For most foreigners, unfortunately, the tea shop remains a mystery. Very few have English menus or any English-speaking staff, so usually the intimidation factor keeps people out of them, which is a shame because no visit to Myanmar is complete without at least one trip to a tea house. Well, let me take away some of that unknown and give you a little tea house primer.
Finding a tea shop
First things first: you have to find the tea shop. There's no real definitive way to know which place is a tea shop or not and I'd have a hard time describing what constitutes a tea shop other than the fact that I can just tell. However, there are usually a few tell-tale signs that you may be passing one:
1) A lot of people are sitting around eating very little and drinking tea.
2) It's crowded
3) It's loud
4) You can see someone in the back pouring tea from a large tea pot.
If push comes to shove, you can just ask for the "lapae yeah zein" (tea shop) and people will probably point you in the right direction.
Getting Started
Once you've chosen a table, you're likely to see a setup similar to this:

Endless cups of green tea
On the left is green/"chinese" tea and on the right are the tea cups for it. In Burmese, it is simply called "yea nwe jahn" (translation: plain, warm water). It's not going to be the best green tea you've ever had, as it's mostly there just as a filler in place of water. Some people like it, some people hate it; I personally just find it comforting to have some.
But, don't drink yet! Seeing as the cups are usually poorly washed, its a good idea to do some cleaning of your own. Pour a little of the green tea in your cup, swirl it around thoroughly and then dump it out onto the ground or in a trash can. This makes sure that your cup is at least a little cleaner than it was before. And don't worry about looking like a hypochondriac foreigner: locals do this all the time, too.
Once your glasses are clean, drink away as much tea as you want: it's always free and always bottomless.
Name your tea
Now it's time to get to the main show: some real "lapae yea": black tea mixed with some sweetened condensed milk and sugar. It's the drink of champions!

A cup of heaven
So, you could easily just say "lapae yea" and you will get a "normal" cup of milk tea. But, if you listen around, nobody calls it "lapae yea" and in fact there is a whole different slang for different types of tea that people use. Some of the more common ones, from sweetest to strongest, are:
"cho seh": more sweet than normal. I don't know who actually needs more sugar in their veins, but this would do it.
"bone mahn": another word for a regular cup of tea. This will still be pretty sweet.
"baw hseent": slightly stronger than a regular cup and my favorite.
"jah hseent": a stronger than the one above, but not too strong.
"pancho": it's supposed to be strong and sweet, but is usually just pretty strong
Would you like a tank of tea?
For the most part, you will get served tea in a cup almost identical to the one above. It's a standard size and usually enough for one person. If you really need the caffeine or sugar, you can always order your tea in a "tankie", which, yes, is a Burmese corruption of the English word for "tank". It's not really that big, but at least you can tell all of your friends that you drank a whole tank of tea in one sitting.
Are you special?
Most of the time, the people at the tea shop will assume that you want the best and will serve you your tea "sheh", which is tea shop slang for "special". All this means is that you get canned condensed milk instead of powder and a spoon to stir it with. For an extra 50 kyat, it's always worth it. So, if you hear the ask you "Sheh la" ("do you want it special?"), just nod yes.
And now?
Well, now you have your tea, what else do you need? Do like the locals, sit back, relax, have a conversation, and watch the people walk on by. Also, don't forget to say "jeh zu beh" ("thank you") when everyone compliments your awesome tea ordering skillz.



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