We're Being Bad Travelers

Written by Bessie about Malaysia. Feelin' angry

For being away from home over 2 years, we should be a little better at this by now, but something's happened to our thick travelers' skin. Something about moving around from city to city isn't working for us lately. I don't think I've ever written a post when I'm feeling 'Angry', but right now, I'm a bit angry at traveling, and it's making me do things, I've never done before.

My Confessions of a bad traveler:

- We let ourselves get ripped off 3 times, in 2 days because we couldn't muster the fight to bargain the taxi driver down $2 or get the $.33 from a waiter that didn't bring us change. We're usually content to over-pay when it seems fair, but they were just ripping us off. And we let them.

- It's just cartoon money to me. I can usually be super about memorizing the rates before I get to place so I look like I know what I'm doing, but here, I've committed a few big no nos. I pulled out a big wad of bills (each about $16) in the middle of some market because I couldn't figure out what we needed to pay. Kyle looked on all bug-eyed wondering what I was thinking. Pulling out a wad of money in a market a bad thing, but I wanted breakfast.

Pancake with peanuts in the middle for breakfast. $.30.

- What do you call it? I can't remember the name of the money. A basic one, I know, but Malaysian Ringgits goes right through me. A rickshaw driver offered to drive me, with a "teen ringgits', I gave him a look like he was insulting my mother. 10 Ringgits, got it, or rather, at least Kyle did.

Taken by our rickshaw driver.

- I can't say ANYTHING in Malay, which is way worse than not knowing the name of the money. Hello. Please. Thank you. Nope. I can't say a word. It's embarrassing. I remember looking on with disbelief in South America when other travelers couldn't speak a word of Spanish, and now that I'm on new ground and the language changes every country in southeast Asia, I've gone totally soft. In my defense, many of the locals seem to speak English in the melting pot of Penang where Indians, Chinese, and Malay blend together and seem to use English as a common denominator. But, it's a lame excuse.

- We paid for a bus ticket and didn't take the receipt with us. The dude in the travel agency asked us for it and never gave it back, so we walked down the street to the bus and got on only to 10 minutes into the trip get interrogated by a ticket taker.
woman: "Why you no ticket? You find in bag!"
Kyle: "We gave it to the guy in the travel agency, we don't have it."
woman, yelling: "No, you have. You find in bag!"
Kyle: "It's not in there. The travel agent wanted it."
woman, yelling more: "You have in bag! You find in bag!!"
Luckily she seemed to know the ignorant types like us, and a local guy verified that we paid at a tour agency, although none of us could recall the name of it. She wasn't very happy. We're lucky she didn't make us pay again.

-After all that, we went running to the mall for safety, and McDonalds, but it was only an ice cream cone. There's nothing more comforting in a strange city, than an air-conditioned mall full of predictable clothing shops, gadget stores, and a movie theater. Now Penang isn't that over-whelming of a city, just on the slightly chaotic side, but it's the normal cars honking, motorbikes passing, and hawkers yelling that you'd get in most places. Something about people giving us the "you're one of those tourists" stares is making me become an angry tourist seeking refuge in the mall.

"Oh, Ronald, you're so funny." / Kyle happy with his banana milk bubble tea.

And in that mall, something strange happened. I wasn't so angry. Escaping the 95°F (35°C) heat and going into a shopping mecca cured us a bit of the angst. It gave us a bit of perspective.

I need no more convincing that I've hit a point where being really mobile just isn't right for me right now. Thank goodness we've already bought one-way tickets to Bali and plan to stay in Ubud for about the next month. No more town hopping for a while. I need to unpack my bag, stick it under the bed a few weeks, and settle into somewhere. Maybe then I'll learn to say 'hello' to the locals.

« Move over, France. Malaysia has some seriously good food.

Now Departing AnywhereInTheWorld »

April 30, 2010 Sally: Oh man, after 2 months in the Thai jungle, I would KILL for a McDonald's right now! In fact, my only plan for Singapore next week is to find air conditioning, a cheeseburger and a movie cinema... and if that makes me one of "those tourists" so be it! Have fun in Bali!

April 30, 2010 Bessie: I say it's all about balance! Seeing a movie has really been tempting us too... Enjoy Singapore!

April 30, 2010 Asa: Why is it everything I'm reading recently is about travelers "hitting the wall" in their journey? Is it because maybe I'm experiencing it as well? I could definitely relate to your post; very good stuff. We actually went to Burger King at the Singapore airport, which horrified us, but sometimes it just happens. You suddenly find yourself in situations you would never have dreamed of being in. Anyway, enjoy Bali!

April 30, 2010 Bessie: Yeah, "hitting the wall" is a funny thing. I think it's easy to "bite off more than you can chew" so to speak on the traveling front and want to see/do way more than what is actually realistic. I've definitely been guilty of that from time to time. Less can be so much more.

Thanks for reading!

April 30, 2010 Earl: Well, I think it happens to us all. There's only so much moving around one can take before 'travel' starts to feel like an endless series of hassle and frustrations.

Luckily, it's nothing that one month in one single location can't cure, although be warned, as one month in such a location as Bali can easily turn into more! The reason I came to Mexico was to take a break from so much constant backpacking and now it's been 7 months and counting...

April 30, 2010 Bessie: I'm looking forward to the cure! :) No one would have to twist my arm too much to get stuck in Bali.

I can definitely understand how you've not left Mexico - the food alone calls me to come back. Enjoy!

April 30, 2010 Olivia: Oh yikes. I am not looking forward to that part of Asian travel, but I wholeheartedly appreciate your candor in discussing it. I hope things get easier for you two soon. And that your hotel neighbors start being...less rowdy.

April 30, 2010 Shannon OD: I completely understand where you're coming from - sometimes the fight just goes right out of you. I've hit a wall traveling recently as well and I think that your solution is spot on - a month resting and relaxing in Bali will surely put the "travel" back into you. :-)

May 05, 2010 Bessie: We're hoping so! :) So far, Ubud, Bali seems great!

April 30, 2010 Global Granny: Delightfully written Bessie (as always!) And yup, you've surely got all the symptoms of the malady I call "Global Glut" (see my blog link for details).

In short, just seems to me that there's definitely a "point of diminishing returns" when it comes to RTW travel. So for me, I much prefer to take my global romps in smallish "mcnugget-size bites".

May 02, 2010 Kyle: Ya, we don't blame you on that one!

And those McNuggets sound really good right now :)

April 30, 2010 jeronullet: Its been almost 5 years since I was in Bali and I don't know if you've been there before but Kuta does not seem like the right place for you right now considering this post. Are you going straight to Ubud? If Ubud doesn't rub you the right way maybe one of the other islands of Indonesia? Good luck and I hope the hawkers and touts of Bali don't wear on you. I snapped a few times when I was there because I was so tired of saying "no."

May 02, 2010 Kyle: Ya, we're headed to Ubud. Kuta is definitely not our scene. I've heard the touts are pretty aggressive, but with that kind of stuff, we're actually quite patient (unless they are trying to sell time shares). Plus, if you stay in a place longer, they eventually get to know you and will eventually leave you alone.

April 30, 2010 DADDIO: Wow... Nice modern mall! Bali sounds like a nice, safe and relaxing place to camp. You both look smilingly great. Happy flight.

May 01, 2010 mumsie: hang in there, darlin'. You may have just OD'd on "NewAdventures/LanguageBurnout" in the ROK. :+ Sounds like having your stomaches (oops!) brains pumped may be just the ticket! Someone once said: "I'm going to Pump. You. Up." :-D LOLOLOL Yuh pumped-up yet?! :) Wising you peace. ---HEY! Maybe you're spirits are missing yoga-island really bad(ly)......... : /

May 01, 2010 Ashley: That's ok, you're allowed to do those things.
I don't think everyone expects you to learn the language when you're there, people are friendlier in non English speaking countries than Anglo-nations. It's sad bad true.
Plus, heading to the mall for a little air conditioning, I'd hardly call that a sin. I mean, what else do you think are the locals doing in the mall too?!

I don't make a big fuss about getting ripped off anymore by the locals, some travelers think it's insane but I don't. Think about it, if they were to come to my city, THEY'D be getting ripped off with a $6 burger don't you think? Now THAT is insane.

Hang in there guys, at least you're travelling =P

May 05, 2010 Bessie: Thanks for the pep-talk! We've fallen into norms/rules that we go by to stay in our budget and enjoy traveling and although it feels funny to break those a bit, it's not such a bad thing. :)

May 02, 2010 Anil: Yup, happens to everyone like people have said. Getting ripped off is annoying but each place has its tricks and it's tough to avoid them all. It's bound to happen from time to time even for 'hardened' travelers!

May 02, 2010 Nancy: Seems anyone who loves to travel will occasionally run into those uncomfortable times that you've mentioned
We've had all those same experiences and got pick pocketed too!
Still it wouldn't stop us from travelling. And I must admit that while we would rarely enter
a Starbucks in the states, we will seek them out (or McD's) for that wonderul
sense of familiarity and to hear "have a nice day"

May 05, 2010 Bessie: Boo to pickpocketing! You're right though, you have to stick with it and keep going! Especially if it's something you love.

A sense of familiarity can be a wonderful thing!

May 03, 2010 auntie donna: Bali!?!? So awesome! Are you considering an Elizabeth Gilbert tour type thing?

May 03, 2010 Kyle: You mean wander around the world being neurotic and self-conscience about everything? Possibly :)

May 05, 2010 Bessie: Pay no attention to Kyle. He gets a little angsty on the Eat, Pray, Love subject...

I haven't heard about any tours with her name on it yet, but I'm keeping an eye out for it. We're in or near where she stayed while she was here, and with the movie coming out, we're figuring there will be some commotion and increased tourism.

We're staying in Ubud to do yoga for the month though! :) Nice to "set-up a home" again.

May 03, 2010 Linda: I anticipated that your travel experiences in countries where you did not have any facility with the money, customs, and especially the language would prove frustrating. Korea was doable because you had a chance to acquire Korean friends/collegues to clue you in and help you out. Also being OBVIOUSLY non-Asian, you fail to blend into the environment and your appearance screams tourist. That can be a good thing as we found in Paris where the locals were very helpful and courteous when we appeared "lost." Of course they appreciated my lame attempts at ungrammatical high school French. The "tourist look" can also be a bad thing as experienced conmen will gravitate to you.

May 05, 2010 Bessie: Sticking out and not speaking the language definitely add a layer of stress... We're still enjoying though, but it will be great to stick in one spot for a bit to really catch on to what's going on.

Friendly locals can make a big difference! Luckily, people seem pretty nice here.

May 03, 2010 Erika Liodice: I think the fact that it's 95 degrees explains everything!

May 05, 2010 Bessie: Thanks, that just might be so. :) Sometimes the answer is too obvious.

May 04, 2010 Jasmine: Hello ~ I'm Jasmine ~~~
How have you been???
I miss you~~~~

May 05, 2010 Bessie: Aww - miss you too Jasmine!!!!

May 06, 2010 Leigh: Completely happens to everyone at some point. Sometimes with absolutely no warning at all.

I always found it funny how I could go from being so open to travel and everything this "other" culture has to offer and all of asudden it's as you say, funny money, no peanut butter and I really just want to go to the mall (well, maybe that's not quite what you said, but similar idea).

Great post. I totally relate.

May 07, 2010 Bessie: Thanks for relating! It does come on without warning sometimes. And it feels awfully good to give into the temptations... peanut butter sounds delicious!!

May 07, 2010 auntie donna: No worries on the eat pray love thing. Yoga in Bali sounds like a dream.

May 07, 2010 Bessie: I kind of feels like one - wish you were here! :)

May 08, 2010 Colin Burns: Thanks for the email. Malaysia is a pretty easy and friendly place to get around (although we have struck the occasional nutter). We are only 3 months into our family trip, but I completely understand where you are at. My wife and I travelled when we were much younger and prettier and had had the same thing happen.

We just weren't having any more fun.

Take a while, rest and relax in Bali. If you can get up to Ubud (great food and relaxing culture up there :)..

Enjoy,
Colin

May 09, 2010 Bessie: Colin, thanks for sharing! It's a funny feeling when something you look forward and love starts to turn on you a little - glad to know we're not alone! :)

You're totally on our wavelength with Bali - we're settled in Ubud for the month. We're loving it so far! Hope you're family trip goes well - sounds like a great adventure.

May 12, 2010 Kate: I love you guys! Just found you on vagablogging and already I'm hooked. My husband and I are just getting started on our no-end-in-sight RTW trip, so we're not feeling the culture shock yet but I've been there before. Thanks for your authenticity in sharing; I look forward to reading more.

May 12, 2010 Bessie: Wonderful! Thanks for reading! Love to hear from fellow travelers. Enjoy every minute - I'd relive any of the traveling Kyle and I have done together. We're so lucky to do these things we love with our partners.

Enjoy & maybe we'll cross paths someday!