Kyle and the Corporate World

So, I've spent all of my post-graduation life working in rather large corporations (Accenture and Tribune Corp) and while it has generally been agreeable with me (read: I didn't hate my job) but I have generally felt out of place in the corporate world.  I'm sure I could write a lot about why this is and prattle about how the corporate world is sterile and repeat all of the other things that people have said a million times (mostly by hippies), but I'm sure most of you know what a corporate environment is like.

It dawned me how I don't really fit into that corporate environment, when 2 minutes after sending my "this is my last day" email, I got someone else's last day email.  Now, I get these all the time and I generally skim through them to find the name, only to realize that not only did I not know there was a "strategic finances" team, I have no idea who this person is.  This time I did read it and I noticed a slight disparity between what I wrote and what most of the farwell emails contain.  Let's compare the two, shall we?

First off, the "corporate" last day email (names have been changed to protect the innocent...and to be funnier):

All,

Please join me in wishing "Orville Redenbacher" the best of luch as he pursues a new opportunity as International Accountant for Navteq.

"Orville" came to TI directly out of school from the University of Illinios - Chicago.  During "Orville's" time at TI, he demonstrated an ability to tackle complex financial issues while staying incredibly focused on serving both internal and external customers.  "Orville" managed accounting for all CareerBuilder revenue and administered the Solbright Abdilling process for all the Tribune Legacy markets.  In his spare time, "Orville" performed the duties of the much-needed de-facto Solbright administrator / help desk.  "Orville" also assisted in major projects such as the DFP migration and the End-to-End advertising review.

"Orville" will be missed most for his ability to lighten the mood of his coworkers and promote a team environment on a daily basis!

"Orville" will be with us until Friday, January 18.  Please join me in wishing "Orville" well in his new role.

Garrett

If you put your hands on the computer screen and cover the first and last lines of this email (not including salutations and greetings), it almost reads like an obituary.  Said person graduates college, said person gets a job, and now said person is no longer with us.  I almost want to read "Orville leaves behind a stapler, a well used mouse pad, and two monitors.  They miss him dearly."

Anyway, here's what I wrote to the people I work with.  To give you some context, I worked in a basement, sometimes complete with leaking pipes.

Homies,

Since most of you work in a dungeon, shut off from the outside world, you may not know that today is my last day at Tribune.  I know what most of you are thinking: "But Kyle, I can't go on working here if you're not here."  I agree with you there.  I would not want to work in a place if I weren't there.  Wait...what?  I just blew my own mind.

Anyway, the reason I am leaving is beause my wife and I are quitting our jobs to travel the world, starting in Guatemala.  So, you can take comfort in the fact that while you are generally investing in the future, we will be grappling with previously unknown stomach diseases and trying not to get malaria.

If you have time, I am meeting my wife and some of her co-workers at 5:30 at Giardano's on Jackson, right below the Off Track Betting (which is where you normally are on a Friday night, right?).  We're hoping to get one last installment of greasy cheese on break, known as "Chicago style" pizza.  Feel free to stop by for a beer or stay and eat some pizza.  If you can't make it, feel free to harass me at my desk.  If you fail to do either, than I guess this email will suffice as a good buy and I wish you well and such.

Chipotle,
Kyle

P.S. If you ever fell like living vicariously thorugh our trip, feel free.  We are going to keep a blog at http://www.bessieandkyle.com

See, wasn't mine more exciting to read?  Wouldn't that at least make you chuckle or at least wonder what's wrong with me? 

It's this kind of freedom to express myself in all my quirky ways that I'm really looking forward to doing while traveling.  I can read all the books about whatever I want and express my opninion in the manner of my choosing, all without feeling like I have to adhere to some unwritten language code.  It's really exciting and I feel more relaxed now that I feel unbounded and free to roam through my own mind as we roam the world.

If you are drinking right now (and I know you are), raise your glass and do a toast: "To being your uncompromised self."

Cheers.