Kindness in Korea? Really?
Written by Bessie on Wednesday, January 27, 2010 in Korea, Republic of
Feelin' normal
Just when I'd thought all posibilities for kindness from random strangers were impossible in Korea, suddenly it's there next to me. Feelin' normal
Koreans aren't what you'd call a friendly culture. Hospitable, generous, loving, yes, but only if you know them. One of the hardest adjustments to make upon coming to Korea was not exchanging random pleasantries; you know, making eye contact, smiling on the elevator, and basic considerations for other humans. Pretty much non-existant here. And trust me, when you're a foreigner in a country, exchanges with strangers make a big difference.
What I'd consider rude behavior amongst strangers is pretty much the norm. Confirmation that we're living on the other sie of the world.
Scenario 1: You're in the grocery store, and you need to get your cart around someone else's.
Korean answer: Push your cart through unapologetically without making any acknowledgement.
Scenario 2: You're next in line to pay for your food.
Korean answer: You're not close enough to the person in front of you (you have to be really close). People will cut in front of you as if they can't see you. It's unbelievably aggravating.
Scenario 3: You're walking along the sidewalk and someone is walking straight-toward you on an otherwise empty path. You might naturally move half out of the way, and expect the other person to do their half.
Korean answer: More often than not, you'll bump into eachother. There's a whole lack of spacial relations here.
Now that I've adjusted...
10 months into being here, I thought I had it figured out. Walk like everyone will get out of your way. Don't apologize if you bump someone. You don't acknowledge strangers unless someone is introducing you to them (in which case Koreans are very nice people). But tonight, one nice lady threw all my expectations out the window.
It's 7:30, and I'm walking home from work in a light rain listening to an npr podcast. I stop at a crosswalk and sort of feel someone walk up really close next to me. I turn slightly and hit the woman with my backpack before realizing she's holding an umbrella up over my head.
I couldn't believe it. She went out of her way to hold an umbrella over my head. It couldn't be happening. I felt this rush of mixed emotions from the friendliness of a stranger: shock, discomfort, disbelief, respect.
Just yesterday I was talking to 2 friends from Chicago about the lack of interaction between strangers in Korea, like I'd sort of decoded how it all works. And today I'm thrilled to find there's something more to the equation.
Any experiences of randow kindness happen to you lately?
Comments on "Kindness in Korea? Really?"
That's really nice. :)
This is an interesting post. It must be equally shocking for a Korean to go to a western culture country and be forced to be polite to total strangers. It is always nice to find somebody who understands when the cultural way is not the best way.
A guy noticed Everett and I struggling with our suitcases when were moving him out of his apartment down to Busan. They drove us from the KTX station to the proper subway station in Busan so we wouldn't have to negotiate another transfer on our own.
by Alex at January 28, 2010 08:26 AM