Foot, you're going down!

Written by Kyle . Feelin' angry

Alright foot, I've had it with you and I'm bringing in the big guns. I know that I've generally ignored you and taken advantage of all the things you have done for me (like standing upright), but is that any reason to hassle me like this? I mean, I see some people walking around on city streets without any shoes, exposing their poor feet to all kinds of unknown elements, and their feet don't give them any trouble at all. I give you a house almost every day and protect your gentle soul (or sole, I should say) from the elements. And now...well now you look like this:

Against your best judgement, you invited Mr. Bacteria over. I know he's one of those people you invite over that seems harmless at first as in "oh, he'll have a couple of drinks and then go home", but then he drinks too much, starts inviting all of his 'friends' over, and before you know it, there's a full blown party, some guy named Denver wants to sell you weed, and some girl in a halter top is puking in your bed.

Well, I hate to be the party pooper, but I have to break this thing up. It's just getting out of control. The paddy wagon is a-coming and it's full of anit-biotics and cremes. And they're not just any kind of medicine, either; this is Mexican style. It comes from a land where the fire water has dead insects in the bottom and the mustaches are bigger than cactuses. We don't mess around here.

And don't you think about getting Right Foot involved in this, either. You leave him alone. He doesn't need your influence.

Now, you can fight this fight if you want, Foot, but I'm going to win. So, do you want to make this easy on yourself or are you going to end this nice and quiet-like?

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March 01, 2008 selena: u made something very gross very funny =D. get well soon!

March 01, 2008 Kyle: Just wait until I have bowel problems...that'll be another set of awesome jokes.

March 01, 2008 Ruthietoothie: KYLE - Once again, your HUMOR ("@") rises to the occasion! Hope you have some good books to read - or maybe THIS is the time to WRITE one! tee-hee! In any event, this is one time when your patience will truly be tested: Places to go! People to see! Oh dear. Woe is me! (sorry, its the piano in me) Seriously, I'm glad you've got a handle on it. You'll have your walking papers before you know it! BESSIE, dear - go hide 'til its over. With a good book : )

March 02, 2008 Auntie Donna: You are so clever, keep up the spirit and get better quick.

March 02, 2008 Uncle Michael: Tolnaftate (Tolnaftato)
Think of sharing a Water Park with hundeds of your best friends. Light and open air are also beneficial as opposed to a house almost every day.

March 02, 2008 Kyle: I'm on a strict regimen of cleaning, applying creme, and taking anti-biotics as prescribed by a doctor here. You should be glad that I didn't put a picture of what it looks like below the bandages...

March 02, 2008 selena: i'm looking forward to it! hahaha =D

March 02, 2008 Uncle Bob: Hahahahaha. Funny! Glad to hear you're on the mend. Relax and enjoy the peace of mind you get by knowing that you'll be back to 100% soon. I was worried.

March 02, 2008 Uncle Bob: While you're resting, listen to the Cubs. They play today. Tomorrow they're on MLBTV.com. Is baseball popular there? Any city with many Americans is bound to have a Cubs bar.

March 02, 2008 your loving wife: So if band-aids are for wusses, Kyle, where does that put you???

March 02, 2008 Kyle: It leaves me as the most bad-ass person wearing baind-aids ever.

March 02, 2008 Brooke: Kyle sorry to hear about your foot. Thought I would let you know that KU killed KSU last night 88 to 74. Hope that pain takes the pain away from your foot.
ROCK CHALK JAYHAWK.

LOVE BROOKE, DREW AND CALEB

March 02, 2008 Kyle: Rock Chalk Chickenhawk!!

March 04, 2008 Carrie Lynn: Hey Kyle and Bessie,

Kyle I hope your foot gets better soon! If not you can threaten to run it over with a beetle!

Take care!!

Your buddy,
Carrie

March 04, 2008 Bessie: heee heee - the Beetle is a threat to scare it into feeling better. Someone else suggested a macheti - lots of those around here - Kyle was in enough pain at the time it was funny and almost worth considering...

March 05, 2008 Kyle: I fell off a scooter. Does that count?

March 04, 2008 DADDIO: This seems to be a one-sided argument. We can't hear the foot's wiseguy responses or get a sense of just how it really feels about being covered in wimpy bandaids when it was expecting to do a macho 10K run for the poor in a couple days. Maybe it all started back when it was bored out of its nails with Spanish class or when it slid merrily around at the water park or when it struggled in the pre-dawn darkness to climb to that wonderful mountain top just to create a photo-OP for Bessie and Kyle. Unless it starts to speak up for itself we may never know the truth about why its performance has been so inferior to its "sidekick"! Have mercy on it! We all wish it a speedy recovery...

March 05, 2008 Kyle: Well, when the foot stops being a jerk, he can say his point of view.

March 05, 2008 Linda: Glad you brought in the antibiotic creams to wage battle against Mr. Bacteria. Suggestion...Mr. Bacteria has henchmen hidden the dark crevices of your walking shoes/sandals.......so it might be wise to initial a surprise attack against his allies by swiping the confines with some weapon of mass destruction (bleach or alcohol may be enough.....try not to go to nuclear).